


Last Lifeline

by froggy (therealfroggy)



Category: Prison Break
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 13:23:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/610286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therealfroggy/pseuds/froggy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On the run with Michael, Lincoln and Kellerman, Sarah can't deal, she just can't. She needs a lifeline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

“Can you turn that off?”

None of the men in the front seats moved. Sarah sighed. “Please turn it off.”

Lincoln looked at her in the rear view mirror, then switched the car radio off.

“Thank you.” Beach Boys. Kellerman wanted to listen to bloody Beach Boys. Sarah knew if she heard another word of the _Fun, fun, fun_ lyrics her head would simply cave in. _How can he not see how unfitting that music is right now?_

“Sarah.” Michael reached for her hand. His fingers stroke gently over her knuckles, warm and calm. Blue eyes tried searching hers, but she looked away and slowly pulled her hand back. She didn't want to deal with this until they were alone.

Michael's eyes didn't leave her face until the car stopped outside a small, run-down motel. Kellerman went to check in while the others waited by the car. They would stay there for a night, three days, a week. Who knew; Sarah couldn't really bring herself to care. As long as Michael's plan would take. She sighed and leaned against the car door. Michael's plan.

*

“How's Sarah?” Lincoln asked, leaning back against the wall next to the door to their room. He was just standing there, breathing in the night air. Michael smiled at how peaceful he looked, even in the middle of all that was happening.

“She's quiet. I don't think she's dealing too well with this,” the younger brother said, working on the knots in his neck.

“Her father's been murdered,” Lincoln said, swatting Michael's hands away and starting to knead his neck. “Her life's ruined, and she's running with the guy who tortured and tried to kill her. Can you blame her?”

“I know,” Michael sighed. “I just hoped we could start anew.”

Lincoln didn't say anything. His brother was so hopeful. Faith; that was all they had left, and it was what would break Michael's heart. Lincoln wanted to shout it to him. It would never work; it had never worked. For any of them.

“Maybe it's for the best,” he offered, stroking Michael's tense shoulders slowly. The tension visibly drained from the younger man's body as tight muscle relaxed.

“It always is,” Michael muttered.

“Hey,” Lincoln said softly, turning him around. Placing a hand along Michael's cheek, he smiled reassuringly at his brother. Michael relaxed into the touch, eyes fluttering shut. “It'll be okay.”

*

Not ten feet away, Sarah turned away and slipped back into the room. Michael's eye lashes, black butterflies against the cheek covered by Lincoln's hand, were fluttering across her vision.

So tender. So familiar and so exposed. Michael looked completely unreachable with Lincoln's hand caressing his face and Sarah tried drawing a deep breath, finding that the sight of them had clogged her throat so she couldn't breathe properly.

Brothers. Suddenly that word gave way for another; six letters flashing a taunting red as they played through her mind. _Lovers_. Not just brothers; twin souls, mates, partners or whatever the fuck you want to call it, her mind provided.

Suddenly it was all so clear. The escape, the sacrifice, the desperation; Michael was more than a devoted brother – he did everything he could to save the man who was everything to him. Brother, protector, lover, destroyer.

“Don't you just love it when the bubble bursts?”

Sarah shut her eyes tightly. She didn't want to hear him. Didn't want that treacherous voice interfering with her tangled thoughts.

“Well. Better get used to it, Sarah; life is nothing but a series of disappointments,” Kellerman continued. He was sitting on the bed, leaning back against the headboard. Simply sitting there.

Sarah hated the cold self control surrounding him like a wall.

“Not all of us are evil ass holes meant to die alone,” she said, moving to sit down on the couch. Her heart was shivering.

“Hope for the best and expect the worst, and every surprise will be pleasant*,” Kellerman stated, and Sarah knew she didn't really hate him – she just hated what he did, what he said. That he was right.

“Life is full of people, Sarah,” Kellerman continued, “and people are assholes. Men in particular, when we think we're being noble. I'm an asshole, Lincoln is an asshole, even Michael is. We hurt people, we mess up, and we expect to get away with it every time.”

“So now you're going feminist on me?” Sarah didn't want to be interested in what he had to say. She didn't want to feel the slightly calming effect of his voice, telling her exactly what she felt.

“Not at all. Women are even worse; they _do_ get away with it. And they never stop playing.”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “I can't believe I'm even listening to you.”

“Well, it's obvious, isn't it,” Kellerman casually remarked, reaching for a soda can placed on the night stand by the bed. “You just realized your Knight is nothing but a shiny armour. You're stuck in a dirty motel room with me. You will never have your life back. You know, whether you're aware of it or not, that you only have two choices.”

“To turn myself in or to keep running,” Sarah said softly, staring at the dark screen on the tiny television set in front of her.

“Those aren't my options. I have better ones. To kick back and let them break you, or enjoy the high while you're still alive.”

Sarah's head snapped up. Kellerman nodded at her. “You know what I'm talking about, Sarah. It's not about the needles and the pills. It's the control. Why you started doing drugs in the first place. Personally, I get just as good a high from knowing I'm inches away from the edge.”

Sarah shook her head. “I'm not going back to that.”

“I said it wasn't about drugs,” Kellerman repeated, rising from the bed. He went and sat down next to her in the couch. Sarah didn't even bother to move away. “Just losing it. To feel that you have no control, that you're untouchable, that you're two seconds away from being shot between the eyes. _That_ is the real high.”

When Kellerman placed a hand on her thigh, Sarah didn't even flinch.

***

_* = quote from_ Wheel of Time _series by Robert Jordan_


	2. Chapter 2

“You always cry in your sleep, or was I that bad?”

Sarah could tell from Kellerman's voice he didn't really care, and she felt slightly sick because of it. Michael and Lincoln were gone; somewhere else; and she felt grateful. To see Michael's face as his shocked, baby blue eyes took in her and Kellerman, full of lifeless passion on the tired bed, was just more than she bothered to envision right now.

“You know you don't care,” she said, silent tears blurring her vision.

“That's not true,” he said, turning around. “If I hadn't cared, I would have shot you instead of going about that whole bath tub business.”

Sarah snorted. “How nice.”

“Look, as I said, we can enjoy the high, or we can accept our fates and be miserable. I know what's coming, and I prefer the illusion. I can share that illusion with you, if you want it. If not, feel free to go share Michael's bed when he comes back. My high's still buzzing,” Kellerman said, as if explaining something vaguely complicated to a very stupid puppy.

Sarah hated that she wanted him to keep talking. “Is it really that far below you to just seem a little human?”

“I thought I just demonstrated beyond a doubt that I am very much human,” he quipped. “Unless you found a few tentacles and some purple fur I wasn't aware of.”

Sarah rolled over so she was facing away from him. “Real humans -”

“Do this, I suppose.” And he was suddenly pressed close behind her, spooning her. She didn't even move as he laid an arm around her waist, breath insistently warm on the skin of her neck.

As much as she would like to feel sick, the simple warmth of a strong body pressed against hers was what made her tears eventually stop flowing. She fell asleep with his breath making her hair stick to her skin.

*

“You trust him?”

In Michael's eyes, Sarah was sure she could see the blue marbles she had had as a kid. So beautiful and so cruelly empty. There was nothing but a wall staring at her.

“No,” she simply said.

The morning had been chaotic. Awareness had rushed into her in a flurry of noise and movement as she was wakened to Lincoln yelling, Michael shaking her, Kellerman's voice rapidly trying to argue with someone.

_“Stay away from her, you fucking bastard!” Lincoln roared, pointing a gun straight at Kellerman. The agent hadn't had the time to find his own before a barrel was aimed right between his eyes._

_“I didn't do anything that she didn't want,” Kellerman said, holding his hands out in front of him. “I didn't hurt her, Burrows. Just ask her. I didn't -”_

_“Shut the fuck up,” Lincoln snarled, advancing on Kellerman. As if he gave a shit whether Kellerman had hurt Sarah._

_The look on Michael's face when they had entered the room; when he took in the sight of the naked pair on the bed, barely covered by the comforter._

_An eternity of faith just came crashing down behind Michael's eyes in that single second, and it tore at Lincoln's heart._

_“Sarah, what did he do to you?” Michael said, his voice shaking. “I swear to God, Sarah, if he forced you -”_

_“Shut up, Michael,” she said. “Lincoln, get away from him. He didn't do anything.”_

_None of the men spoke. Finally, Kellerman managed to get his pants and shirt on without Lincoln shooting him. “I'm going to get something to eat,” he said. “I suggest you join me, Burrows.”_

_Lincoln glared daggers at him, but put the gun behind his belt._

_“I'm going to stay here,” Lincoln declared, “outside.”_

_Following Kellerman out the door, Lincoln threw Michael an aggrieved look before closing it behind him._

“I don't trust him,” Sarah said. She couldn't stop visions of Michael and Lincoln together from dancing through her mind. “So what has that got to do with anything?”

“But why? I thought you hated him,” Michael said, the wall slipping a little. He was crumbling.

“You thought I was in love with you. But he was there, Michael. I needed someone and he was there. I needed a lifeline, because I just can't deal with all this without keeping in touch with reality. It's as simple as that.”

“I would have been there,” Michael insisted. “If you wanted me to, I would have been there for you.”

Sarah breathed deeply. There were a thousand pinpricks of tears behind her eyes but she couldn't let Michael see her cry. He couldn't deal with that now. She couldn't deal with it.

“I'm sorry, Michael. But this thing... us... is going nowhere.”

Michael looked at her, unblinking. His eyes were locked on hers, dragging all the words out of her.

“Your brother, Michael. There will never be another person in your life who will mean as much to you as him. I've seen you together. I can't compete with Lincoln, and I don't want to. Let's just leave it at that.”

Piercingly blue eyes bored into hers. Sarah swallowed and looked away. It wasn't that she loved him so much. It wasn't that she couldn't stand the thought of life without him. She could.

She just couldn't stand the thought of severing the last lifeline of her old life.


	3. Chapter 3

The angel's wings. When Michael was lying like that, the only thing Lincoln could do was gently stroke the outline of the angel's wings.

“I can't,” Michael whispered.

Lincoln sighed. Michael was lying on his side, facing away from Lincoln, and Lincoln was stroking his back through the thin fabric of his shirt. Lincoln only knew of one way to calm his baby brother when he was upset like this. Not just stressed or scared. Michael feeling hurt was just so much worse.

“I can't, Lincoln,” he said, voice almost breaking. “Can't, can't...”

“Shh, I know,” Lincoln said, pulling Michael to him until they were pressed close together. Lincoln could feel the angel burning against his chest.

“No, you don't understand,” Michael said, twisting until he could bury his face in Lincoln's neck. “I can't choose her over you. You're my brother; I _can't_ give you up. But I don't want to lose her.”

“You shouldn't have to choose,” Lincoln said, hugging his brother fiercely. “Just give her time. She'll see; she just needs -”

“I've ruined her,” Michael whispered, hand tangling in Lincoln's tee-shirt for comfort. “I destroyed her.”

“What are you talking about, Michael?”

“She was so... I ruined her.”

His brother's sob broke Lincoln's heart all over again and he tightened his arms around the younger man. He knew he wouldn't be able to make sense of this even if he tried; what Michael needed now was not to be analysed.

“I've ruined everything,” Michael said, breath shaking. “People have died because of me. The conspiracy will never end, because I couldn't stop it; and now Sarah is just... Sarah is letting Kellerman do whatever he wants to, right now in the next room, because I couldn't even save her.”

“Michael, it was her choice,” Lincoln said softly. “It was her choice to come here with you, to fight for you, to do whatever she did. You didn't force her. You saved a lot of people a lot of pain, Michael. You know you did.”

“And I ruined twice as many.”

For the first time since Michael was twelve, he cried himself to sleep in Lincoln's arms.


End file.
